Free Agent Signing Window: Updated Master Plan

Lavish offers of money, picking up bar tabs, Foursquare check-ins, conspiracy, unlawful weddings, and promises of delivering a first-born son were omnipresent and invasive in the recent free agent signing window. What transpired was an unbelievable, gut-wrenching series of events not even Mel Kiper Jr. could predict. And he's a prophet. The result:

Ryan Waring: Unsigned.
Offered 2 weeks, a future foreign wife, and endless points on Foursquare. Didn't bite, and instead signed closer to home. Staying in Omaha for the summer. Just as cool.

Arianna Something-or-other: Signed.
Not an Indian last name - I just don't know her yet. Free agent out of USC with uncoachable talents. Scouts have described her as "real chill" - exciting prospect.

Becca Swanson: Signed
A former soccer standout who tore her entire knee about two years ago demands that I will be carrying her via rickshaw throughout cobblestone streets. Worth it! What's she bring to the table? Enough clothing for Serbians to never go cold again, along with some excellent quotability.

Tom Holt: SIGNED
In probably the greatest turn of events since Jamie Moyer's demotion to the minors, Tom Holt planted a European seed and we all saw it come to fruition in a matter of days. Hours even. Amazing. The kicker: promises of "Sound of Music views" in Viena. After a sales pitch to his boss that went something like "Hey I want to go to Europe," he was all set. Good to go.

Entered the college scene described as "mature," and "Dad-like," left it described as "downright childish," an incredible improvement in my mind. Now notable for being a 5-tool traveler any adventurist salivates over:
1) only responsible friend of mine
2) charming
3) speaks scattered phrases of French accurately
4) great beach body
5) knows how to knit.

But that's not all - Tommy Boy was involved in a package deal...

Will Hubbard: Signed
Tom's bff4L, and another phenomenal late-in-the-game pickup. Essentially he discovered that his father's old company had a bunch of leftover flyer miles and, as the rumor goes, he kindly just took those off his hands to book flights to Madrid. Naturally. Noteworthy for his obliteration of the online Halo community. Unless he's known around the world for this, not sure where that gets us, but nonetheless exciting.

For those keeping track (mainly for parents), that puts our nearly-complete-but-something-is-likely-to-go-tragically-wrong-and-screw-it-all-up plan looking something like this now for us 8 aspiring world travellers:

June 12th-23rd: Andrew, (insert USC girl I don't know yet here), and Goose arrive in Madrid and make our way through Barcelona, French Riviera, Genoa or some other area with greasy, unemployed Italian men prowling the club scene
June 23rd: Rome (enter Kinzer, Ben, Tom, Will)
June 25th: Rome (enters Becca)
June 26th: Rome - Andrew fights a lion with a spiked stick in Coliseum.
June 27th: Florence
June 28th: Florence morning (Kinzer, Ben farewells, Tom and Will continue on, bravely)
June 29th-30th: Viena, Sound of Music uniforms intact. Tom on the "Aufweiderson, Goodnight" solo.
June 30th - July 2nd: Prague - don't die.
July 2nd-3rd: Berlin - (Tom, Will leave for Amsterdam and paris)
July 4th-5th: Frankfurt
July 6th-7th: Becca, USC chick depart in the morning, Andrew and Goose continue on to Amsterdam, Brussels, Paris, Bordeaux, Pamplona to run with bulls and promptly visit our first foreign hospital, San Sebastian, London
July 20th: Andrew lands in Newark, NJ. PIG ROAST AT THE HOLT HOUSE.

Seems like a good plan. Next post will be from Madrid, Spain.