That was a whirlwind. Some rough estimates of what we just went through:
- 24 gelatos
- 600 pounds of pasta
- 80 plates of bruschetta
- 700 miles walked
- 3000 years of history lessons
- 3 liters of wine tasting like pure urine
-100 liters of acceptable cheap wine
- 76 strait hours of Becca remaining awake
- 1 near-failure in retrieving Becca, whose first decision
in Europe was “Get in an unmarked car with some other tourists because a guy
told me it would be cheaper”
- one near-fatal RyanAir flight
- countless mimicked Gladiator scenes
- 18 euro lost to Trevi fountain (which we agreed is one of
the greatest scams in human history and possibly accounts for about 75% of
Italy’s GDP)
And here we are
in Florence. For now, more importantly, the power ranking:
Hostel – 6.
Will Hubbard certainly had something to say about this. We
each lost 10 pounds per night during our sleep in the “hostel inferno” from
gross amounts of man sweat. Rough location led to 45-minute walks to Trastavere
every night, but wandering around Rome really isn’t all that much of a
punishment. The mornings were the hostel’s true demise. After staying out until
4 just about every night, getting woken up by a foreign cleaning lady coughing
up her right lung due to severe Tuberculosis/lung cancer at 9 a.m. is not
ideal. The 10 a.m. lockout meant our main fuel source was solely cappuccino and
pastries (or, in my case, tiramisu for breakfast) and pretty much wore us down.
It’s the hostel’s fault, not our nightly decision making, or lack thereof.
Food – 10
Pretty much didn’t have a bad meal, and doing Tony’s at the
suggestion of Timothy Kelly and Dorothy Brown followed by Dar Poeta at the
suggestion of Elizabeth Russo in the same day legitimately changed our lives. I
will never eat pizza the same way.
Sites – 10
Pretty sure we would be struck down by some Roman deity or
goddess if we gave anything less than a 10. Not only is Trastavere the coolest
neighborhood of all time, but casually strolling through spots where
Constantine, Augustus and Caesar used to kick it is pretty phenomenal. Spanish
steps is essentially just a staircase with lots of Asians taking pictures
around it and Italians washing their feet in a fountain, but aside from that
everything from the Victor Emmanuelle memorial to Trevi to the forum to the
Colly to St. Petey’s place to the Vatty to rooms covered in paintings by some
of my favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Raff and Michaelangelo) lived up
to the hype.
 |
| Not tourists |
 |
| Becca giving an in depth history lesson |
Best Site – 10 – The
Coliseum, honorable mention St. Petey’s Place/Sistine Chapel
 |
| Future gladiators |
Even though over 700,000 people and countless innocent
animals were murdered in it, the smell of blood and death has worn off and The
Colly remains aesthetically awesome 2000 years later. The Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles absolutely dominated art 600 years ago and created amazing art that’s
all illegal to take pictures of. Stop me, Rome:
Not a huge art guy, and most art enthusiasts generally tell me, “You just don’t get it,” but we were all pretty taken aback by the art in and around Pope Benny’s place.
Not a huge art guy, and most art enthusiasts generally tell me, “You just don’t get it,” but we were all pretty taken aback by the art in and around Pope Benny’s place.
Night life - 10
Being with 5 of the coolest people of all time and a
Mexican, it’s hard to have a bad time in Rome. We crushed karaoke, completely
defaced some historical statues/fountains by introducing Verga Wine (only the
finest!) to them, and hit a slew of completely Americanized bars while
celebrating John Cena’s comeback victory on Monday Night Raw. Could probably do
that for a month or twelve.
 |
| great squad. |
New Standings:
1) Rome - 46
2) Madrid - 44
3) Barca - 43.5
4) Nice - 41
5) Genoa - 39.5
6) Marseille - 38
7) Narbonne - 36
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