Prague Recap + The Greatest Language Barrier Conversation of all Time

This place is amazing. Similar to Vienna, we just didn’t have enough time. Probably one of the prettiest places I’ve ever seen and the architecture (which I don’t actually know anything about) is phenomenal. Got in around 7 after a scenic yet swelteringly hot train ride. Techniques to keep us cool included:

a)    Taking turns standing up on the armrests to put our heads on the ceiling next to the only vent in the car pumping out reasonably cool air

b)   Me standing on same arm rests and helicoptering my hands around, attempting to shift some cool air downward

c)    Everyone awaking finding me with my shirt off. No regrets

d)   Sticking our heads out the windows, but that wind was just hot in the end

e)    Will sliding the door back and forth, as if to try and move some of the air in the hall into our coach.

Tom's head next to ceiling vent

That was brutal. But we survived and made it to our sweet hostel. The only knock was the one shower in the room, which made getting ready to go out take an hour longer. That, and Becca having to try and make herself look prettier somehow via 1) doing makeup while sitting on the floor next to the entryway, 2) using the hairdryer while sitting on the top bunk bed, 3) Using the curling iron while doing wall sits and a mirror the size of a can of soup.

We proceeded to a lovely sit down dinner…on a curb with some street vendor sausage. Next stop was a bar with one bar upstairs and 6 in an underground tunnel system of sorts, which we concluded must have been an underground railroad for alcoholics at some point in time. From there we hit one of the larger, more obnoxious, sweatiest dance spots in all of Europe. This is where I met my long lost Swiss twin. We wore the same shirt, he rocked the American sunglasses as well (no idea why), and legitimately was making girls cry with the dance display before their eyes. We tag teamed the dance floor and God started crying too (it started raining outside). It was beautiful.

After dancing in a disco inferno – the bad kind, not the 50 Cent kind – a trip to the Ice Bar was essentially mandatory to lower our body temperatures to the norm. After we dressed up like we were going to the Winter Olympic Village, we trekked into a freezer and chilled (get it?) in a frozen bar. Really weird, but really cool (get it again?!).

Woke up and got a fresh start on the day at 2 p.m. and went to town on the city. Trekked up to Prague Castle which was epic of course, and then through Old Town which is like an older version of Disney World minus the rides, hour-long lines, screaming kids, pissed off parents and costumed adults that hate their lives. So basically it was just a really colorful strip of old buildings and some elegant cathedrals. 

Disney Castle has changed since I was 8

The dinner that second night was probably the best of the trip – nothing could better personify such an intense struggle with a language barrier.

An extremely intoxicated (we think/hope) older Ukrainian man approached us, asking for directions (we think/hope) while sitting at an outside table at our restaurant. After trying to explain that we don’t speak German, Ukrainian, or Czech about 20 times we gave up and just started trying to connect on some sort of topic. Any topic. So he sat down. After continuing to ask us questions, I started just responding with “Shevschenko” – Ukraine soccer’s star striker. So, translated, it was probably something like, “So what did you guys do today, how did you like the city?” “Yea, Shevschenko.” Regardless, this was a connection. Eventually Tom got his phone out and went to Ukraine’s wikipedia page so we could just throw some sort of Ukrainian facts at him, and I was equipped with the back of a map which was supposed to include “useful” Czech phrases. Instead it contained inquiries like “How much would you like for him/her?” (Sadly, this may actually be useful to Eastern Europeans…), and, "Do you have toe-nail clippers?" In the end, after about a half hour, the things we discovered included:
1) Misha the Ukrainian hadn’t washed his hands that day

2) Misha liked the Sound of Music musical

3) Misha took long drags of his cigarrettes and made “throw away” hand motions when Tom said both the president and prime ministers names – Misha does not approve.

4) Misha thought Becca was a sweetheart

5) Misha did not want to purchase Tom, no matter what the price

6) Misha refused to clean Tom’s room

7) Misha did not care when I claimed I was having a heartattack

8) Misha did not have toenail clippers

9) Misha liked us and gave us all a firm handshake as we left

Working on the hidden camera footage that was captured - I'll upload it asap if possible. It's a must-see.

Now for the Euroromp Power Rankings. Another surpriser!

Hostel – 10.

This place was MONEY. Or not money – because it was under $20 U.S. per night. It was clean, had a downstairs bar with live acoustic, and air conditioning, which legitimately blew our minds. Mosaic House – great spot.

Food – 8.5

Good food, definitely, but being compared to authentic Italian and Spanish isn’t fair. Plus I hardly tasted our one real dinner as I was crying with laughter trying to talk to Misha the Ukrainian.

Sites – 10

It tackled four of my main prerequisites to be an excellent walk-around city: colorful and decorative, excessively grand churches, awesome eagle eye (Go BC!) views, and urinals having soccer nets in them with a ball to aim for.

Awesome, I know. Should this get "Best Site"?

Only in Eastern Europe!

Best Site – 8 – Prague Castle + Cathedral + Bell Tower

Awesomely cool on the outside...not really sure about the inside. When you’re competing with things like the Statue of David, the Coliseum, and Montjuic Castle, you’re against a wall from the start.

Night Life – 9.5

Pretty phenomenal. The 5 floors of clubs place was totally insane, different and ridiculous. The $1.50 U.S. for beers and $5 for meals was post-college grad euphoria. And the Swiss kid dressed like me and stealing all my moves (or maybe they’ve just gone international) really put it over the top. The only knock was the bar we watched Spain win (yay.) the Euro at. Cool place but slightly subdued. I suppose this can be credited to the fact that nobody in Czech cares about Spain winning the Euro. Makes sense.

Pretty good look, yea

Overall – Prague the Underdog comes in with a 46 to tie up Roma for first. It’s legitimately impossible to decide between the two.

1) Rome - 46
1) Prague - 46
2) Madrid - 44
3) Barca - 43.5
4) Vienna - 41.5
4) Venice - 41.5
5) Nice - 41
6) Genoa - 39.5
7) Florence - 39.25
8) Marseille - 38
9) Narbonne - 36