San Sebastian: Doing Nothing Did a Lot

I’ve recently come to terms with the fact that this has not been a normal summer. Not in the least. Meaning, I haven’t swam in any urine-saturated country club pools, haven’t thrown any golf clubs, haven’t sat and stared into space for hours at a time, and haven’t really relaxed too much at all. Always moving. So following 2 hours of sleep and running from monstrous beasts in the morning, all I wanted was to lay on a beach with soft sand and gorgeous water surrounded by mountains and do absolutely nothing. So we did. For about two strait days. This was probably one of my favorite stretches of the entire trip because it consisted of two of my favorite athletic activities: daydreaming and not moving.

..like this.

            At night, we did much of the same, sitting and talking on a cliff overlooking the ocean. But those around us didn’t. San Sebastian is located in “Basque Country,” which is comparable to Texas because, similarly, the rest of the country hates them, they think they are better than Spain and all their countrymen, and they want to secede. Also similarly, a lot of the country would probably be OK with this. So, for reasons we still can’t figure out, there was a festival all weekend with constant music and marching bands in the streets. We honestly didn’t know if they thought they were finally independent for some reason or if they were celebrating the mere idea of becoming independent. Regardless, this led to two of the more ridiculous sites I’ve ever seen.

            The first is the urinal system at the concert:

Yes, we see you.

 We were amazed by this structure, which is essentially just an organized tree. And with better drainage, instead of the urine hitting your feet. To me, this was even more ridiculous than the outdoor troughs placed around Pamplona’s stadium because those were built hundreds of years ago in a city that really couldn’t care less about hygiene, and this is a modern creation someone thinks is going to boom. There was no hand sanitizer in site and you go with zero coverage, so male bathroom secrets from peeing style to the fact that about 2% of men actually wash their hands are now exploited. This device has singlehandedly transformed the phrase “Hey honey, I’m going to the bathroom real quick” to “Hey honey, I’m gonna go pee in the organized tree, try not to get any on myself, not wash my hands afterward then come hold yours.” Basque country – true revolutionaries.

            The second was their version of fun:

            This was, at surface level, a guy inside a metal bull-shaped structure that shot flames and sparks five feet perpendicular to its path while he paraded through a dense crowd of people. But if you look closer…no wait, that’s exactly what it is. This was a site for the ages. It induced about as much mass chaos as the time my friend was told to dress up in a turkey costume and hand out candy in Prep’s lunchroom in honor of Thanksgiving, and instead stood on the stage/tables pelting everyone in sight. Or the time snakes in Prep’s lunchroom were released. Or the time in Prep’s lunchroom people were standing on chairs chanting “Black Pope!” during the papal election. Anyways, it was the same level of chaos, except this guy was nearly lighting everyone within a ten-foot radius of him on fire. Kids were running around the guy as if it were some fake light show, Spanish adults were screaming, and tourists were literally running for their lives as he approached. Stunning. Great way to celebrate whatever it was they were celebrating.

RUN KIDS!!!

In the end, this awesome little beach town turned in a solid power ranking:

Hostel – 8.5

We had the nicest, shortest, little old Spanish lady help us into the hostel she ran. She didn’t have room in the 7-man spot we were originally designated for so she threw us in her library, which had enough walking space for ants to pass through. The location couldn’t be beat as it was close to two necessities: the beach and patatas fritas con ali-oli (French fries slathered in pepper garlic sauce).

Food – 9

Everything was great, except for the system of half of the restaurants. You basically go up to the bar, put what looks good on a plate for your table, they look at it and name a price that they think sounds good. “Ehhhhh, veinte?” And we oblige. No complaints about the taste.

Sites – 8.5

Ignoring that the area is full of signs supporting their fellow separatists in the movement to become fascist/socialist, this is a beautiful little beach town with a tropical feel.

Saw another statue of a Greek God on the beach

Best Site – I forget the name of it but I’ll just call it “The Big Jesus Statue on the Cliff” – 9

Basically, this was a big Jesus statue on a cliff. The walk up to it provided some of the best views of the entire trip, with a perfect sky bouncing off the purest ocean water available to man while mountains just hung out in the background. 

Nightlife – 8

The flaming bull on parade’s chaos was hilarious for a good 5 minutes until we left because sparks were too close landing in our hair. That was a site to see. The place is chalk full of bars and separatists that want to party, and the nightly concerts where we knew 0 of the words thanks to their insane dialect were a solid addition to the nights. But in the wake of Pamplona, we couldn’t get ourselves to really take advantage of it all.

42.5 gives a big score for a little guy. With just London left to attempt to Usurp Prague and Rome, the power rankings sit as follows:

1) Rome - 46

1) Prague - 46

2) Paris - 44.75

3) Madrid - 44

4) Barca - 43.5

5) San Sebastian - 42.5

6) Amsterdam - 42

7) Pamplona - 41.75

8) Vienna - 41.5 

8) Venice - 41.5

9) Nice - 41

10) Brussels - 40.75

11) Frankfurt - 40

12) Genoa - 39.5

13) Florence - 39.25 

14) Berlin - 39

14) Bordeux - 39

15) Marseille - 38

16) Narbonne - 36

Ring Challenge Update: had to amputate.