I'll preface this with a chronicle of this very moment: sitting on a rickety bus with sputtering air condition traveling south from Split to Dubrovnik. This trip is 100 miles, but incredibly, the 0800 arrives at 1300. Redeeming qualities: 125 Kuna (~$20) per ticket makes it the cheapest option, and the views are pretty fantastic.
Other options:
- Rent a car: 2 hours and 45 minutes by car, which is also impressively slow, and more expensive than bus.
- Flight: prohibitively expensive/non-existent; airport in Split is about a half hour away by city bus (if it arrives)
- Ferry: Despite heading out to sea, making 4 stops, and traveling half as fast, the Krilo line would leave at 0740 and arrive by 1200, for $35/ticket. First choice, but sold out the day before. Classic.
So, we are crammed like stockyard animals onto a bus with other dejected tourists, some even forced to stand for hours. It combines the glorious coastline views of Croatia with the smells of a high school football locker room, the heat of a sweat lodge, and the amenities of a casket. The gentlemen around me are sweating profusely, the ticket man hates his job and is cursing his company, and the following commentary has been heard:
- “This has the potential to be the worst five hours of my life” - that one was Becca
- “I asked him to turn the A/C on and he said yes but he’s just an asshole” - Dramatic man who also yelled “Turn the Air Conditioning ONNNNN” from the back of the bus
- “You have to fix this or we’re going to start passing out!” - Dramatic man’s wife at the ticket man, who continued to sweat and curse his company
- “Give me a rope and tie me to the roof ya know” - Canadian man in front of us
- “Oh yah I just hope this doesn’t explode” - Other Canadian man in front of us
Yes, the morale is low and some have already concluded 15 minutes in that if the vehicle doesn’t explode it will be a successful trip. This is what happens when you remove first world amenities from first world people.
So, backing up, how did we get to Split? And how did we get around in it?
Train from Ljubljana to Zagreb
Four days ago, the plan was to travel Ljubljana —> Zagreb, Croatia —> Split, Croatia. Tickets were valid for any train between May 21st and 24th. Due to rain, we opted to leave a few hours earlier on the 1445 afternoon train from Ljubljana instead of the 1835 as planned. Unclear why, but we think that with Croatian borders, they require you to switch trains in Dubova, Slovenia to a Croatian line. This would have been fine if we had any idea. We did not, and ended up spending 3 hours in the beautiful, sprawling 4-block metropolis of Dubova. The final leg was a train at 2021 for 40 minutes into Zagreb.
At the Zagreb station, we snagged a spot on the sleeper car for our overnight train leaving at 2300. This cannot be done online, so we were feeling particularly blessed until we entered our new apartment: ~15 square feet with 2 mini twin beds, a shelf/sink hybrid, no air condition, and blankets that have had unforgivable things done to them. Not ideal sleeping conditions, but nothing a Kozel Dark (the best beer in the world, that’s a fact) beforehand can’t fix!
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| stretching out on my sleeping shelf! |
If you prefer sleeping in a tin box that feels like a roller coaster at times and a screeching construction site at others, this is your kind of sleeper car let me tell ya! No matter, we got the sleep we could, and arrived in Split after ~8 hours.
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| Doesn't get much better than this, honey! |
Split Public Transportation: a public health crisis
Coming from the most efficient systems in the world in Ljubljana, Salzburg and Vienna, this was going to test our patience to the max.
Our apartment was located in Stobrec, a town on the outskirts of Split, about 4 miles from the city center. Immediately, in the pouring rain, we were told by three locals three different ways to get to the city buses from the main bus station. Fellow travelers: you’re looking for a stop next to the Green Market, and if you’re located in the center of Stobrec, do not take the 60 line... So we took the 60 line, because we were told it was best.
After 25 minutes, we jumped off the 60 line…on the next stop on the highway as it went past our town, and walked the rainy 2 miles with our luggage into town. Becca was thrilled!
In the next few days, we would notice a few things about Split’s public transportation:
1) Part of the door was missing on our first bus. Just gone.
2) Parts of seats were missing on all buses.
3) The “free WiFi” was missing on most buses.
4) None of the bus stops are labeled with the names of stops
5) No announcements are made at stops.
6) There is no digital board of any sort at the stops telling the next bus arriving. 7) There are sometimes maps at the stops, sometimes not.
8) There are some maps online, but different on different sites.
9) The labeled times of arrival at the stops are incorrect. Instead of the time it arrives at that stop, the buses are listed by what time they are leaving the original stop. It’s up to you to guess what time it will arrive if your stop is between the beginning and end.
10) Some have air conditioning. Which is fine because some have doors missing, and some leave their doors OPEN FOR THE WHOLE RIDE
11) Google Maps does not have public transportation as an option in Split OR Dubrovnik, the two biggest cities in the country. This is not helpful, although they’re correct that maybe it shouldn’t be an option.
Finding Mereen (city from Game of Thrones), a.k.a. Klis Fortress
This was to be a spectacular quick trip from Split, but finding a way to Klis is about as likely as finding fire-breathing dragons flying around Croatia.
On day two, we caught the 25 bus at 9:40 from Marina Stobrec into town. This runs once per hour, so pretty happy to be on it despite having to stand for the half hour — an elder German tourist was pin balling around the crowd with her hiking sticks at every turn and I thought someone was going to get impaled for sure, so I offered my seat. We arrived at 1010 to catch the 22 bus at 1020. Feeling optimistic. This never arrived. The other bus drivers and kiosk employees were convinced it would though!
Bus signs were in Croatian with no translations, so we went to plan B - the 34 bus from the the police (Polijska) station stop up the street from the Green Market. We read about this one on blogs, as the city website is…not. It’s just not. The 34 bus stops running at 7 a.m.
Plan C: The 35 bus from the same stop. That one runs every few hours.
Plan D: a bus that gets close, then we can cab or walk? The 16 bus goes to Solin, the next closest town. Walking is up a vertical rock face, basically.
Having exhausted all options, we saw that the next 22 bus left at 1430 from HNK, the National Theatre stop. This also is not true. The bus leaves at 1430 from Klis… and then you just estimate when it will arrive at HNK to turn around.
So we went to Marjan park, swam at the beach, and tried again the next day.
This time, we just threw up a Hail Mary. The 25 into town that morning was late, so we missed the 34 bus from the Polijska station stop. Standard procedure. So we caught the 16 bus after the mythical 22 bus didn’t come to HNK for the 20 minutes we stood there, and got off in Solin. We asked the bus driver when the 22 bus would come through town.
His answer: “Could be soon. Could be a while.”
Within 5 minutes, although we had never seen it before, the 22 bus showed up like Drogon fighting off White Walkers. Incredible. Heroic! It was one of the highlights of the Europe trip so far. And so was Klis Fortress. The views are what you pay for. Literally: there are generally no other tourists there (wonder why?!), no pamphlets or guides, and minimal museum info, so you are paying ~$6.50/ticket for an abandoned fortress with breathtaking views. Was it worth the trip? Yes. Maybe. Probably lost a few years off my life with the stress. But if you can replicate our success or accurately guess the arrival time of the 22 bus, you’re in for an absolute treat. Daenarys Targaryan didn’t conquer and rebuild that town in a day - you have to earn it too.
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| The mythical Bus 22. Need some air flow? Sure just throw the doors open for a while. P.S. check out the luxury seats |
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| My Khaleesi and her kingdom |
...
So the A/C has now kicked on after a half hour, and morale is rapidly improving. We have had to stop twice for passport control, once for a 25 minute rest stop, and 20+ times at random stops because it's Croatia transport so why not? Dramatic Lady wants a refund, but life is otherwise good and the views off the cliffs on the ride are incredible. We’re certainly happy to be alive, and blessed to get to the home stretch of this otherwise amazing trip.
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| Why to sit on the right side of the Split-->Dubrovnik Bus. |
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