Couple of Guys with a Map: We in Wien

It’s great to be "back in the saddle,” but I could really use an actual horse as we have tallied 19.6 miles and 45,585 steps since we landed in Vienna at 1 pm on Tuesday. Just laying siege to these cobblestone streets.

Our first stop, though, was Chicago. Because we are two young folks in rather crippling debt, we opted to get a free round trip ticket via Chicago on Southwest with points, leaving us with a 9 hour layover before the flight out of O’Hare. Though it takes as long to get from Midway into the city (1 hour 6 minutes) as it does to fly a couple hundred miles from Omaha to Chicago (1 hour 10 minutes), we made the most of it with a breakfast at Google courtesy of my smart brother Dave, and tickets to Shedd Aquarium courtesy of my affable amigo Johnny Kinzer.

I bring this up because there were two moments when I thought the trip wasn’t going to happen. First, when Becca approached the Beluga Whale exhibit wide-eyed and starstruck, I thought she had fallen in love. Sparks were flying. My life flashed before my eyes. The whale made the strangest noises ever. Becca giggled. Would I be alone forever as my wife became a woman of the sea? And then the whale deep dived and ate something and the moment ended. But still, a close call.

Don't be fooled by his cartoon-like cuteness. Tried to steal my wife.

O’Hare was a different story. If you haven’t been, imagine if all the animals from Henry Doorly Zoo were transported there, released from their cages, and then told to follow the signs and TSA instructions. There were carnal noises, tourists yelling at agents, lines that stretched back to Omaha, and somehow despite arriving 2 hours early (about double my preference) arrived at the gate relatively unscathed 6 minutes before boarding.

The flight was lovely despite the ongoing armrest battle with the Indian fellow taking Ambien on my right. Becca and I combined for 4 hours of sleep on the 7 hour flight from Chicago to London, and another 4 on the 2 hour flight from London to Vienna. Needless to say, we were wired and ready.

Vienna is an unbelievable city. If Hitler was right about anything, it was that he thought Vienna was the cultural capital of the world. There is an incredible nationalistic architecture feel, it is steeped in history, the age of kings/emperors turned the place into an upper class playground, and the emphasis on art and music and food is a monstrous bonus. This is a “10/10 would visit again” on Yelp. Which is why this is the first city we ever repeated in Europe.

The last was 6 years ago, as I was attempting to court Becca in my own awkward way. The summary: arrived in the evening after a sweaty but jubilant mad dash for our train from Venice —> 6 of us guys accidentally ordered a half-meter of “Brot” thinking it was a “Brat”…but was “bread”; Bec enjoyed a salad —> went to a theme park with bars called Prater Dom —> awoke and power walked through Schonbrunn Palace for an hour —> caught a train to Prague that had no air conditioning and nearly led to hospitalizations secondary to dehydration for all

This time was destined to be different.

We took on the rain and clouds with great ambitions, and immediately discovered that basically nobody pays for U-Bahn tickets and if you do you are quickly identifiable as a tourist. The government probably regrets that method of ticket validation. Off the Rathaus stop on the U2 Train which was not driven by Bono, we took on the Rathaus, equivalent to a state house but with more epic architecture, the Albertina art museum, the State Opera House, and Hofburg Palace, the second largest palace by square footage in the world. We wandered around Heldenplatz, the National Library, and Museum Quartier, all conveniently within a few miles.

Rathaus. Sad to hear about all the rats in such a pretty building..

For dinner, EsterhazyKeller was the stop of choice and did not disappoint. It was founded in a wine cellar from the 1600s, where it was rumored that soldiers of Vienna were fed wine to give them confidence to fight. This is not dissimilar to bar fighting today, I imagine. I took down the Goulachesuppe (goulash) and Viennese Schnitzel like a warrior myself, which was simply fantastic.

EsterHazyKeller

Wednesday, we discovered we could rent CityBikes for 1 Euro/hour, very clutch for seeing larger chunks of the city. And when I mean chunks I mean basically the entire thing, as we added on Volksgarten, Belvedere Palace, Karlskirche, Nashmarkt open market for lunch, and an audio tour of Schonbrunn to our list from day 1. A dinner of KaseSpatzle (Austrian egg noodles covered in cheese) at Cafe Benne was the reward for demolishing my legs, and is also highly recommended.

National Library (Bibliothek) at night. Realizing how little I have read in my life.

An Athleta model posing in Volksgarten

Volksgarten

The wheels make you look even COOLER

The highlight:

Schloss Schonbrunn is incredible. It’s a must-see UNESCO heritage site that has been around for over 300 years. The audio tour was quick, and covered 26 highlight rooms…although there are over 1,000 in the house for God knows why, considering it was technically the summer home for the Austrian royal family.

Fun Fact: Maria Theresa ruled in Austria hundreds of years ago, and wedded her daughter Marie Antoinette to a Frenchman to attempt to cool tensions between Austria and France. Marie Antoinette was a bit of a wildcard, and ended up instigating the French Revolution and had her head chopped off via guillotine. Safe to say that one backfired.

The downer: I don’t mean to stereotype but Asian tour bus gangs are RAMPANT and when these folks want pictures they will do absolutely anything. Complete anarchy ensues as the droves parade off the buses with iPhones and lenses 2 feet long. This morning, Bec and I were standing pleasantly, snapping photos of a Johann Strauss statue in Stadtpark. A group came rambling along, and we were effectively boxed out, as the ring leader started yelling numbers and all 20 rotated through, at times running(!!) up onto the statue to each take the same picture. Not even sure they saw the statue, unless through the lens. It’s a wild experience. Mornings and evenings must be your friend in this town. The tour buses are coming. It looks like this, normally:

~20% facing the palace itself

Salzburg is next. But first, enjoy some more brilliant photojournalism:

Volksgarten looking toward Museum Quartier (quarter of museums)

"Someone looks fabulousssssss" - Mozart

Karlskirche in Karslplatz: baroque style church named after Charles, a.k.a. Karl.

Like a kid in a candy shop. But it's an adult in a veggie/fruit shop. Naschmarkt is about 1 mile long of this scene on repeat, plus vendors throwing food samples at you from all angles