Couple of Guys with a Map: Slowin' Down in Slovenia

Before booking our leg to Slovenia, all I knew was that the country used to be part of Yugoslavia and that Anze Kopitar used to slay everyone in hockey in his teenage days here. Afterward, all I know is it’s one of the prettiest countries on earth and we need to come back.

The trip started with a private chauffeur from Salzburg via Jackson Shuttleworth, my college roommate and one of the more entertaining humans out there, and his better half/better 7/8ths Michaela. With the 2 hour trip turning into 3 hours mainly secondary to Jackson’s questionable decision making, we had plenty of time to catch up after a two year hiatus (his fault, not mine) and discuss big hitting topics like:

With a morning diet of pastries and coffee, how are Europeans so healthy?

With an afternoon diet of cake and coffee, how do Austrians appear so healthy?

With an evening diet of sausage, wienerschnitzel, and an additional bolus of carbs in one form or another...seriously how do they do this?

The anti-smoking thing hasn't really reached here yet…those Europeans definitely are not healthy

Jackson’s transition to becoming a consultant for Deloitte...in German

Jackson’s blunders along the path to learning German

Jackson’s blunders along the hiking path while attempting to propose to Michaela

Jackson’s blunders along the highway to Slovenia

Jackson’s ability to out kick his coverage and land a lass like Michaela

We arrived in time for another few sheets of rain - Slovenia's turn.

Lake Bled is a small Northwest town that draws tourists in just for the views of the castle and the church. The castle is propped on a cliff overlooking the pristine glacial lake and the area it is settled on first appeared on land registries in 1253 A.D. It’s now primarily used for meetings if anything, which appears to be a bit inconvenient, but pretty sweet that you get to come to this gorgeous tourist town. The church is the primary showstopper of the area, as it’s built on an island in the middle of the lake. Again, convenience was not a main consideration in construction here, but they nailed the beauty part.

Lake Bled in all her glory

Becca in all her glory, admiring Lake Bled

The incredibly friendly staff at Castle Hostel 1004 was kind enough to offer some tips on the area. Following them on the tip to take the “walking path” to the viewpoint opposite the castle, we questioned what defines a walking path as we found ourselves 1) in a backyard 2) in ankle deep mud in our sperrys and tennis shoes 3) sucking wind on a 100-step staircase with an 87 degree incline. No less, the panoramas of the area from that point are astonishing. We waited for the clouds to finally part and enjoyed the hike down. This was ruined only by Jackson betting us all 10 Euro that hermit crabs never grow their own shells, they find them. He was correct, per his own unverified wikileaks source.

A short drive from Bled is Triglav National Park. This is Slovenia’s only national park, and might be the most lush park in the world, possibly because it has rained every day since we’ve been in Europe at some point. We started on the west side of Lake Bohinj and ascended to Il Dom past the gushing Slap falls, through a few feet of unexpected snow, and toward some wild views from the hut awaiting us at the top. This hut was an experience in itself. The Slovenian waitress was fantastic, but to say there was an issue with communication would be a serious understatement.

Feeling slightly emaciated, I went right to the top for the “Beef Soup WITH Noodles,” and she repeated back “Beef and noodles OK!” I wasn’t even disappointed but just plain shocked when this came out as a bowl of noodles, while Jackson and Michaela’s “Barley Soup” had half of a pig of ham on top. Beef Soup = no beef. And Becca’s menu item? ‘Sandwich.’ Just ‘Sandwich.’ No descriptors. The possibilities were endless! Pepper ham and cheese was a lovely surprise though.

Following the hike down to complete our 5 hour round trip, I avenged my Hermit Crab bet loss by defeating Jackson in rock skipping on Lake Bohinj. Shout out to my fans that have been there for me through thick and thin. This is a far greater feat, I’m aware. Lake Bohinj, situated at the base of the park, receives glacier and snow runoff and puts it on display in epic fashion. Would go back 100 times.

How we hang out on bridges in front of Bohinj

Save the Date photo, you're welcome

Bohinjian Rhapsody

Our final morning was spent hiking the Castle trail and boating Lake Bled. And by boating I mean me acting as both motor and rudder in a courageous act of brute human strength and poor coordination.
We parted ways, and Bec and I forged on toward Ljubljana. This city is an absolute gem and severely underrated. Voted the Green Capital of Europe in 2016 for sustainable energy, recycling, and general cleanliness, the city boasts it and deserves it. The downtown riverfront is pedestrians and cyclists only and feels like a cleaner, cooler, prettier version of what Chicago is going for.

We met up with Becca’s college friend, Maya, a Slovenian native. Turns out she is also an Olympic sprinter for Slovenia. Six short years ago, as a single bachelor figuring life out, if you told me that I would someday graduate medical school and get a drink with my beautiful wife and an Olympic athlete on top of a skyscraper in Slovenia, either my head would have spontaneously exploded or I would have just died laughing. Alas, here we are. Maya was super kind and offered us some insider info, which we took and ran with. Usain Bolt is a cool guy, by the way. I asked.

The city was BUMPING on a Monday night, thriving with full cafes up and down the riverfront. We hit Romeo for a Slovenian fusion style dinner along the riverfront. This is not to be confused with Romeo’s fusion style Tex Mex dinners in the U.S., with the main differences being the ambiance, the employee satisfaction, the guilt involved, and the rest of the experience. The seafood salad and Nutella/Banana Crepe for dessert come highly recommended.

Our quaint hostel, Family Guesthouse GreenSLO, was about 10 minutes from downtown via bus. Sergey, the father and thus CEO of the biz, was the highlight. When we inquired about the “Free Coffee” sign on our way out in the morning, the following exchange occurred, word for word:
Sergey (who speaks very minimal English): Oh ahhh free coffee ist… no.
Me, gesturing to sign: Oh. So no free coffee?
Sergey: Ahhh no ist ahn…ist for review. Computer. You say. You type good for…(points around the room)… I see it. I see, I say “Oops! Ist good!” I give coffee.
Me: Oh! So we review the stay first?
Sergey: I see high marks and OOPS! Is good! Oops! Here is coffee!
Me: Good review it is!
Sergey: OK, you like meelk or no meelk?

A series of unfortunate events:
With another rainy day on the horizon, we decided to head out a few hours early at 2:45 pm toward Zagreb, Croatia, where our layover before the trip to Split was located, and sun was promised. This would have been awesome…but we nearly didn’t make it, and although we did reach it in a sweaty heaping mess of clothes, our train actually stopped at the border. Dubova, Slovenia. For 3 hours. This connection was not indicated on the internet, nor the train boards. We checked again.

Don’t get me wrong, Dubova is fantastic. All 4 blocks of it are pristine... it’s just not a place I’d really picture myself spending more than an hour in. We grabbed a bite at 1 of their 3 restaurants - Valentina Pizzeria, and left pretty impressed yet disgruntled.

Following a pleasant conversation with Erstatt, a Ljubljana bus driver/amateur boxer/Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator, we arrived in Zagreb. Another underrated stop, and with one power hour we stumbled upon one of the biggest Cathedrals in Europe (Cathedral of the Assumption), two massive parks, and two festivals.

Finally, the sleeper car to Split, Croatia at 11 p.m. This is to be expanded on in the next post, as it was an experience unlike any other. Wouldn’t be a European adventure without…some of the more inexplicable travel mishaps imaginable.

And now, some more photojournalism: